Insanity

What do you think the definition of insanity is? I'm sure there are varied layers to insanity but today I'm going to address the concept of doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. (Bear with me, this won't be as boring as it sounds. I hope.)

There's a little book out there titled Who Moved My Cheese? and the basic premise is if a certain action that was producing results no longer does, then ya' need to move on. I've read this book. Apparently I need to read it again.

I keep playing Spider Solitaire. Why, I don't know; because I suck at it. Look at the stats below! I played it once ELEVEN times in a row before giving up.

Another thing that's insane is my commute. Yesterday I left the office at 5:04 and arrived home at 6:51. That's just wrong.

I do love my job, guess that's why I put up with the commute. I mean where else can I get paid to fail miserably (and repeatedly) at Spider Solitaire?

Well it wasn't raining Saturday. But it nearly could have been SNOWING.

It was entirely too cold to have children parading around town in the back of pickup trucks tossing candy at equally cold parents with smiles frozen on their faces. Frankly I'm surprised that my arms were able to move to take a picture when Bubba motored by.

Can you see him? Yeah, me neither.

As a result of the sub-arctic temperatures, I spent yesterday home with a sick boy-child. I took him to the doctor because to me it's worth a $20 copay not to listen to Clyde whine. Yes, Clyde. I believe I've mentioned this before, but my dear husband is one of those types that whisks their child to the doctor every time they sneeze. So after listening to Clyde's well-founded, professional diagnosis of our son's near death sickness, I took Bubba to the doctor after Clyde left for work. Unbeknownst to Clyde, I did not call an ambulance as dear hubby would have thought necessary, I strapped the kids in the car and moseyed over. We stopped at McDonald's on the way.

I wonder sometimes what Bubba Jr will be when he grows up. Part of me thinks he'll be a DA since on the way to the doctor he questioned me at length as to the doctor's record of "seeing white spots in children's mouths." He considers the doctors ability to see white spots as an automatic strep verdict with a mandatory sentence of throat swabbing. He detests the swab. The doctor looks in Bubba's mouth, but makes no comment. I know Bubba thinks he's out of the woods. No swab needed here! No white spots detected! Woohoo!

But wait! What's this?? The doctor slowly turns around with the swab in his hand. It might as well of been a meat cleaver for the hysterics that immediately ensued. I'm sure people thought we were ripping his nails out for all the squalling that was going on... Charleigh seemed concerned but not overly as she watched her brother get his just desserts his throat swabbed. When it was over (11.25 seconds later) the doctor turned to Charleigh with the swab still in his hand and said something to her. I don't know what it was, I couldn't really hear over Bubba's keening. I'm not sure Charleigh heard it either, but her eyes got big and she started shaking her head "no" and backing up. Fast. Apparently she thought it was her turn. She wasn't having any of that cr@p.

Charleigh has decided she wants to be an Oriole, too. I have to admit she looks adorable in Bubba's hat! Baseball players are tough, not sissy smilers. So this is her "tough" face. Grrr!

B

PS Non-reactive on the strep.

Proof that anything is possible

I have absolute proof that anything is possible.

I read a blog written by a lawyer who wishes to remain anonymous. Recently he issued a challenge that if anyone beat him in some espn tournament thing he'd go back to posting 4 times a week. I think he's funny as all get out, and what the h&ll? I'll go ahead and give it a try. I followed the instructions and wahlah, I have myself a "bracket." I chose all the teams based on absolutely nothing. Random selections.

After the first week I was in 32rd place. Out of 206. Not too bad since I had to ask Clyde what sport the NCAA tournament was. The only reason I asked is because at the end they make you pick the final score. When I mentioned to Clyde about a one or two touchdown spread he looked at me like I was insane. And apparently I am.

After the second week I skyrocketed to 3rd place. I think it's because I picked LSU to win. LSU, as I have recently learned is not in California, like I thought. It's in Louisiana. Cool. Learn something new every day, that's my motto.

After the third week, well see for yourself.

****I deleted the picture because it was too stinkin' big. ******

I wonder how many egos would be crushed if they learned they were getting obliterated by a female accountant who knows more words to Barney songs than she knows about basketball?

Attempts at youth

Two weekends ago I hosted a get together at my house in the woods for my "gang" from highschool. Some of these people I'd not seen in over 10 years. Crazy, and at the same time inexcusable since most everyone lives within an hours drive.

We had a great time whereby we started out pretending we were all responsible 30 somethings with perfect children and lives. The night ended with the children digging their way to China and some husbands kissing wives that weren't theirs. This was highly reminiscent of high school. At any rate, here are some photos of people you don't know, but make me smile.

Bubba Jr rules the teeter totter since he outweighs all others.

Two of the dads. The dad in the short sleeved shirt is a stay-at-home dad. Interestingly, the child he's holding doesn't belong to him. Hm...

The girls! I'd like to say the tall skinny one with light hair is me. Alas, no. I'm the second from the left with the moon-pie face.

Two sweeties!

Silly boy!

It's chilly mama!

I don't like you Clyde!

The youngest sweetie at the party!

Photos

Bubba Jr.'s shiner, take 1

Bubba Jr.'s shiner, take 2

A while ago I was writing about a game we like to play called Wig Out. It's essentially a matching game where you match people together. Although there are 10 different poses, Charleigh and Bubba Jr agreed that the four in the picture above pretty much represent us.

First is Charleigh, gotta have the hair bows! Next comes Rico Suave, I mean Bubba Jr. Then comes mommy (why they chose this woman as me I don't know. I don't have curly hair, nor have I ever been that skinny. Okay, maybe when I was 6). And lastly comes Clyde. Notice the mullet & scraggly chin hairs.

Here's a picture of Bubba Jr after we went to Kindergarten registration. It's hard to read, but the sticker on his shirt says "I'm going to Kindergarten!" Me thinks he's pretty proud of that!

Boys will be boys.

Princess Charleigh takes a turn on the slide.

These next pictures are courtesy of Bubba Jr. He wanted to take some pictures around the house. The descriptions are HIS not mine.

This is a picture of our lamp.

(Mom asks, "What about the dude on the couch?" Bubba says, "Well I wanted to take a picture of the lamp.")

This is a picture of my sister.

This is our new furniture.

(Mom says, "Great shot sweetie.")

This is a picture of the other lamp.

(Mom says, "It's also a picture of my forehead, and after this picture was taken I saw white spots for 20 minutes)

Charleigh with her Auntie K

Auntie M, Charleigh-Jo & Bubba Jr. (In his Guangzhou Hard Rock Cafe shirt)

Welcome Harley!

Congratulations to my cousin's family on the birth of their newest youngin, Harley!

He came along this morning at just over 9 pounds. The Princess in Pink is Harley's big sister MG. (Remember, MG's the darling who found Jesus at the Wal*Mart)

Thanks Auntie M for sending the pictures!!!

Shiner

Bubba Jr. has a shiner.

Two boys were fighting over some chaw in the playground and... just kidding.

In "block center" yesterday another child mistook the directive for cleaning up with the opportunity to throw a two seamer. Since Bubba was unaware play was in progress, he didn't have his face mask on and subsequently caught the block with his eye instead of having it harmlessly ricochet off a face mask.

He claims it hurts, which I can believe, but then he runs over to the mirror to gaze in awe at his wound. I caught him winking for effect.

Charleigh was thoroughly unimpressed with Bubba's abrasion. Apparently she thought her gnawed cuticle was more of a concern.

We're going this weekend to visit some adults and I'm just waiting for Charleigh to careen off her bike and foul up her nose...

To add to the drama, today is Kindergarten registration. No matter how many times I've told Bubba Jr today is REGISTRATION and NOT the start of Kindergarten he refuses to differentiate. To him, once I said "Today is Kindergarten..." I lost him. I probably could have said anything after that but all he heard was "Today is Kindergarten." So I can't wait to show up at the public school with my bruiser. What a way to make a first impression!

Saturday is opening day for Baseball/Softball related sports. Since we live in a small town, this is a big deal. In fact Bubba's going to be in the parade. Keep your fingers crossed it doesn't rain.

What I want to be when I grow up

Tee Ball

Bubba Jr. started Tee-ball this week.

I think Tee-ball is probably the most enjoyable sport on the face of the earth to watch. The children are just precious beyond belief. And they have no idea what they're doing. All except Star. Star is Bubba's Jr.'s doppleganger. If Star didn't have his socks pulled up whereas Bubba Jr had his socks pulled down, I couldn't have differentiated between them on the field. In the looks dept... However, Star is, well a Star. He's the only one with hustle. By the end of the one hour practice 95% of the kids were off in la-la land. Building dirt castles, running in circles, chatting with the other "players." Not Star. Star's got the gift. The gift of attentiveness.

The cutest kid out there (aside from BJr.) was this tiny mite of a thing who had absolutely no concept of tee ball. The coach tells him "Run to First George!" George proceeds at full tilt to second base. "No George, over here! Come on Buddy!" George heads off to Oklahoma. Or somewhere else b/c he sure as heck wasn't running to first base.

Charleigh-Jo was pretty PO'd that she didn't get to play. She kept trying to get out of the stands while pointing toward the field chanting "Charleigh play!" She was slightly mollified when I gave her some pretzels.

Bubba's team is the Orioles. Only most the kids can't say Orioles and it sounds more like Oreo's. Which is fine, b/c I think Oreo's are pretty darn tasty. Especially the Ooops Oreos. Even Bubba Jr knows they are my favorite and tries to get me to buy them at the store. Only if I do, they won't even make it HOME. So we have to run, run away from the Oreo's.

Why on earth is Kevin Covias still on American Idol?

Insulted.

You know those annoying ads that wheedle their way into the pages you're reading? Well I'm over on My Space and the ads that pop up for me say:

Are you clean inside? Death begins in the colon. Now is the time to free your body of accumulated toxins and other causes of irritable bowel syndrome."

The ad below that one says:

Breakthrough new herbal formulation ends constipation, diarrhea, bloating and cramps. Try Digestrol today!

You know, I'm old. But I'm not that old.

I spent this weekend doing the Devil's work.

Yard work, that is.

There should be a sign on my mailbox that reads "Abandon all hope, you who enter here."
I can't help but compare certain aspects of my yard and driveway to Dante's "Inferno." There's a certain element of Limbo as you approach the layers of hell, and I would say your body experiences a bit a limbo as you bounce up the driveway.

I'm sure if Dante was writing his masterpiece in 2006, a punishment of unparalleled equal would be scrubbing vinyl siding. Reserved only for those with most heinous earthly felonies. Dante also mentions something about a river of blood. That would be the bountiful crop of blackberry vines that surround you as you attempt to clean your yard. I had nightmares about those vines, like unholy velcro.

Bubba Jr. went on his first spend-the-night on Friday night. Of course I was a wreck about it. Possibly that's what drove me to attempt to drive my body into a state of complete fatigue. So that I would not think about the fact that I've spent 2,012 days making sure he's a safe as I can possible make him. Then I pass him off to someone else with a smile and a wave. And a long prayer. I had doubts that he would be able to stay all night. He's sort of a mama's boy. Through NO fault of my own. It's not like I faun over him constantly, or that I'm overly protective. It's not like I sent him to his friends house with his bike helmet. Oh wait. I did.

Anyway, he made it through the night and was severely p-o'd when I came to pick him up Saturday. No kiss, no hug, pushed me out of the way and stormed over to the car, launched his luggage in and sat in the seat glaring at me. Nice. Love you too. Later he told me he just wasn't ready to come home yet and could he please stay 3 more days? Sister's aren't as much fun as I said they'd be. Humpf!

Charleigh was great without Bubba Jr cramping her style. She yanked out all the matchbox cars, watched "Trick My Truck" with her dad and helped in the yard, Charleigh style.

Me: Come pick up this twig.

Her: Me, Charleigh?

Me: Yes, you Charleigh. Come pick up this twig. (Me pointing near me)

Her: (Bends down) This one? (hold up pine needle.)

Me: No, this twig right here by Mama.

Her: Mama?

Me: Yes, this twig right here by Mama. Come pick it up.

Her: (Bends down and picks up a 1" twig.) This one?

Me: (Goes inside to put head in oven)

Eventually she decided taking a nap was preferable to trying to figure out her demanding mother.

She has turned into quite the social butterfly. If you sat anywhere near us in Church yesterday I apologize. However, it is quite cute when she smiles and waves and says "Hello!" Even if it is 58 times. At one point she was "reading" the bulletin and noticed there's a picture of Jesus on it just like the one that is in the sanctuary. Delighted at the match, she hollars out "Mama TWO Jesus!" As she holds up three fingers.

That reminds me of a cute story I'll close with. Just before Christmas my aunt was at evil*mart with her granddaughter, MG, who is also three. In the lawn/garden area there was a rather large manger display, complete with Mary, Joseph, all the wise fellows, some animals and a manger. However, there was no baby Jesus. While my aunt waited in line to pay, MG was checking out the display. Suddenly MG shouted in joy, "Nana!! I found Jesus!" Good for her I say, good for her.

B

Yesterday I caught Bubba Jr. singing (choke) Britney Spears.
In the tub.
I asked him (nicely) where he heard that song and he said he made it up.

Two days ago he was riding his big wheel singing Kelly Clarkson.

Did I ever mention that Charleigh's the world's slowest eater? Yesterday morning I watched as she got a spoonful of unnaturally colored high sugar-octane loops. (It's ok. I was sending her to school shortly afterward so they can deal with my lack of a.m. culinary skills) Anyway, she gets this spoonful of maybe 6 loops. Peers at it. Decides it either 1) contains foreign material, 2) is the wrong color combination, or 3) CONTAINS JUST TOO MANY DARN LOOPS. She dumps out the spoonful and starts again. Big scoop, 6-7 loops, peers at it. Starts to dump, slowly slowly the loops slide back into their milk bath until one solitary purple loop remains on her spoon. Peers at it. Decides it's acceptable and starts to put it to her mouth. Notices I'm watching. Puts down her spoon and says "Hi Mama." So here's a math problem for you. If it takes a child 2 minutes to eat zero loops, how long will it take for the child's sibling to report this transgression?

Tomorrow I may give her 10 loops. Since it takes between 1 and 2 minutes per loop this should help to eliminate the "hurry up!" that flies from my lips with alarming regularity.

Four Months!

Holy toledo. I can't believe it's been four months since Gotcha... unreal. In some ways it seems a lifetime ago. As a tribute I'm going to write down as many things as I can think of that she can say (which beats what I can say in Chinese by about 10 times.)

Ready, Set GO!
Turn here!
Pawpaws house!
Cow!
Charleigh turn.
Mama! Dindin (bubba jr) NO turn! Charleigh turn!
Help shirt please
Help chair please
Daddy stinky!
Give hug
my bike
get this (pointing at things in the grocery store... thanks a lot bubba jr! I could have lived happily without her learning this!)
my coat
my shoes (which still comes out sounding like shoe-cheese)
mommy
look truck!
move
come here
no night night
charleigh pants? shirt? socks? shoes? unnerwear?
charleigh face hideous!
mamaw
charleigh school! Ms Michelle, Ms Header (Heather) Ms Jeana, Ms Lindy (Lindsey), Ms Dindy (Cindy)
what this?
daddy bye bye work
go church?
(Which reminds me... she's been insisting that she gets a turn to say the blessing at dinner. Clyde and I about lost it when in her mumblings she clearly said "Be Quiet")
play outside
charleigh bath?
tissue
cozy (this one too sounds more like coachy)
all gone
all done
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9
charleigh three
I jump!
daddy truck
I LIKE IT!!
yes
yeah
ok!
yep!
I no like it
baby
baby cry
uhoh
sorry mama
where?
charleigh pretty!
look pretty, OH! pretty!
hair, pony, 1 pony, 2 ponies, hair bow-bow
turtle
blanket
book
elmo
sad
flower
tree
car
table
fader (father)
I love you, I love you too!
Tomorrow, see you tomorrow
Good night, don't let the bed bugs bite!
be quiet
stop
shhhh!
hot
cold
goodnight
goodmorning
Jesus

Okay, there might be some repeats in there... sorry. What a list! All these things are words she says with little or NO prompting from me. She will repeat virtually any word you ask her to say, but this list is what she can say pretty much on her own.

!
B

I forgot these:
be careful
whee!
boo-boo
noodle
chicken
cereal
poptart
milk
banana
apple
orange
eat
freckle
nose
eye
ear
clean up
butt
danger
ball
cup