YELL-Oh Girls!

I just finished reading a book called "YELL-Oh Girls." It's a collection of personal writings by young Asian American girls about the challenges they face in their lives.

Honestly, I was a bit disappointed. I was hoping for some insight with regards to raising an Asian American girl in today's society. What I found, for the most part, was stories of bitter teenagers who were angry because they weren't born with blond hair and blue eyes, but have overcome (so they say) that anger and are happy being who they are. Unfortunately it came across as a little too whiney for my taste. Every child born wishes something were different about themselves. As a dark brown haired child with dark brown eyes I too wished I had blond hair and blue eyes (and make the hair curly while you're at it). Kids with curly hair want straight, kids with dark skin want light, kids with light skin want darker skin, the list goes on and on. However, there was one poem from "YELL-Oh Girls!" that stayed with me, and I'd like to share it here:

INNOCENCE

The first day of kindergarten.
The classroom, filled with happy children.
A sea of blond and brown heads.
And yes, one head of black.
Me.
I didn't care. I didn't notice.
But everyone else did.

I walk in the classroom.
Whispers follow, buzzing with gossip.
Secrets float from child to child.
I tensed, everyone was looking
At me.
They stared. I stared back.
Why was everyone watching me?

I see a boy about my age.
Pulling his eyes at the corners.
Making them sharp and pointed.
I realized, he was making fun
Of me.
But why? Because of my eyes?
I couldn't understand.

That first day was horrible.
Girls giggling, boys pointing.
No one who would be my friend.
I noticed, they were staying away
From me.
I almost cried. Tears sprang to my eyes.
But I kept my pride.

I boarded the bus for my ride home.
I felt safe, finally, at last.
Two boys sat in front of me.
They turned. "Ch!nk," they said.
Me?
Ch!nk? The word brought sadness to my soul.
Dejection crossed my face.

That first day hurt me.
Hurt my core, my only being.
But I finally realized.
People were prejudiced
Against me.
It came like a tidal wave. Smashed my spirit.
My eyes opened to the harsh world around me.


Written by Debra Yoo, Age 18 from Schaumburg, Illinois.
AUTHORS NOTE:
I wrote this poem in reflection of a real memory I have of two young boys calling me a "ch!nk" on the bus ride coming home from school in second grade. It was the first time I had ever heard the word. I didn't know what it meant or what its connotations were, but somehow it still greatly stung me. It was my first encounter with racism, and I will never forget it.